This is an archive of a site from 1998 (originally hosted at
These pages predate modern HTML/CSS and are most definitely NOT valid anything
some browsers may not cope well but I felt the content was worth preserving :)
If you have any feedback contact me. Please note I am not the original author of any of this content.

Welcome To:
What? No more pretty pictures? I'm already pushing the limit on bandwidth!
Frame-Free for your enjoyment!

Last Updated: 8/10/98

What follows is the world's largest collection (that I know of) of tech theatre humor. These jokes are used by everyone involved in productions with exception to the actors (too busy working on other personalities to tell jokes?) and ushers (unskilled labor, not a 'family').
I cannot take credit for the writing of much of this material. I have given credit to those who I am reasonably sure are the original authors, but this cannot be done perfectly. All pieces posted here are posted only WITH permission of the credited source.

True help:
- Real Quickies (Help!)
- Quick Prayers and mottos
- Other Funny Stuff (and stories)
- 100-Code Notice (Related: - 100-Code: Version 2)
- Tech Olympics (Related: - Awards)
- Olympic Events up for consideration! (Help! Collaborative item!)
- The Tao Te Tech: By Earnest Mazique
- Logic
- 50 things not to say onstage (Related: - Things never said)
- Guidelines for Electricians
- Headset comments of The Colchester Lakeside Theatre
- The Song Of the Stagehands
- Oops, we ran Act I twice!
- Stage Notices
- Things to tell the Intern to do...
- Theatrical Structure
- 25 ways to abuse your power while teching a college theatre production (remote link, click here for OnStage!'s mirror)
- Lightbulbs (Related: -Actors and Lightbulbs) [Including and expanded from The Definitive List Of Techie Jokes]
- Random Jokes (Carps vs. Techies vs. Electricians) [Including and expanded from The Definitive List Of Techie Jokes]
- Signs You've Been in the Theatre Too Much
- Quotes from the Public Domain (Comments credited to public persons)
- The Plan: Techie's version
-- Techie Gospal: Genesis
-- Techie Gospal: The Proverbs
-- Techie Gospal: Word to the Techies
-- Techie Gospal: Exodus and The Gospal According to Luke
-- Techie Gospal: The Book of Bill
-- Techie Gospal: The Birth of a Techie
-- Techie Gospal: Parable of the lighting desk
-- Techie Gospal: The Ten Tech Commandments (An addition to the original Gospal)

Pure Anti-actor Jokes:
- Classic Actors
- Actors and Lightbulbs (Related: - Lightbulbs)

Threads (conversations over Usenet and Mailing-Lists)
(If you see a thread that sould be included, please mail me to make me aware of it!)
- Actors are Cattle (Usenet)
- Funny Stories (Mailing List)
- Accidents (Mailing list)
- Murphy (Not accually a thread, related to - Accidents)

Originally from OnStage! at - Mirrored at