This is an archive of a site from 1998 (originally hosted at http://www.nic.com/~porkchop/)
These pages predate modern HTML/CSS and are most definitely NOT valid anything
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Q: How many Drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A1: Three. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the throne.
A2: None. They have a machine that does that now.
A3: Whats a light bulb?

Q: How many guitarists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Seven. One to do it and six to transpose it into another key and do it faster.

Q: How many Chick Singers?
A: There's nothing wrong with that light dearie, hit your mark.

Q: Sound engineers?
A: I'm busy, thats lightings gig.

Q: LD's?
A: Thats a lamp, and stay away from it.

Q: Backup Singers?
A: They don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in the greenroom.

Q: Guitar techs?
A: They don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in the back of the truck.
Chris Babbie <syd@primenet.com>
 
Q: How many Technical Directors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Just one, why do I have to do everything myself, goddammit?!?
John S. Musarra <musarra@epix.net>


Q: How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, they'll just fix it in the mix.
From: Alicia Stevans <astevans@vt.edu>



Q: How many producers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None; they've proclaimed darkness the new standard.
Dave Vick <rigger@voyager.net>

 
The following jokes came as a package from: The Definitive List Of Techie Jokes: As compiled by readers of RATS newsgroup and Andy Kelk (ics5ajk@leeds.ac.uk)
 
Q: How many stagehands does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. That's an Electrician's job.
 
Q: OK, then, how many Electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None of your damn business.
 
Q: How many teamsters does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 15. You gots a f***ing problem wit dat?
 
Q: How many grips does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 2 one to sweep up the glass and the other to pull out the base.
 
Q: How many directors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 3...no, make it 4... on second thought 3... make it 5 just to be safe.
 
Q: How many interns does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: It doesn't matter, you'll have to do it again anyway.
 
Q: How many PA's does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, they're still f**king with the switch.
 
Q: How many Stuntmen does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 11. 1 to change the bulb, 10 to clap.
 
Q: How many lighting designers does is take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Its a carefuly orchestrated blackout.
 
Q: How many art directors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Well... Does it have to be a lightbulb? Why can't it be a candle?
 
Q: How many directors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Hmmmmmm.........Light bulb..............Allow me to ponder the changing of the bulb.
 
Q: How many stage managers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: I DONT CARE- JUST DO IT!!!!!!!!!!
 
Q: How many actors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: What's it's motivation?
 
Q: How many interns does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: I dunno....I'm just happy to be here.
 
Q: How many IA guys does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One, once he puts down the donut and coffee.
 
Q: How many actors does it take to change a light?
A: One.... if he can find it.
 
Q: How many actors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: On; the actor holds the lightbulb, and the world revolves around the actor...
 
Q: How many straight actors does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Both of them.
 
Q: How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None: its a lamp.
 
Q: How many electricians does it take to change a lamp?
A: None...if it worked once they aren't gonna play with it.....
 
Q: What's black, crispy, and hangs from the ceiling?
A: An actor changing a light bulb!

Originally from OnStage! at http://www.nic.com/~porkchop/ - Mirrored at http://rmlx.co.uk/onstagehumour