This is an archive of a site from 1998 (originally hosted at http://www.nic.com/~porkchop/)
These pages predate modern HTML/CSS and are most definitely NOT valid anything
some browsers may not cope well but I felt the content was worth preserving :)
If you have any feedback contact me. Please note I am not the original author of any of this content.
Behold, my son here is wisdom. Pay heed to these words, and in
the days of thy play, in the hours of thy performing, thou shalt
not be caught short. For truly, it is said, pay heed to the errors
of others and you shall not make them yourself, and again, as
we have been told from on old, to thine own self be true.
1.Give not unto the actor his props before his time, for as surely
as the sun does rise in the East and set in the West, he will
lose or break them.
2.When told the placement of props by the Director, write not
these things in ink upon thy script for as surely as the winds
blow, so shall he change his mind.
3.Speak not in large words to actors, for they are slow of thought
and are easily confused.
4.Speak not in the language of the TECHIE to actors, for they
are uninitiated, and will not perceive thy meaning.
5.Tap not the head of a nail to drive it, but strike it firmly
with thy strength.
6.Keep holy the first performance, for afterwards you shall party.
7.Keep holy the last performance, for afterwards you shall party.
8.Remember always that the TD is never wrong. If appears that
he is, then you obviously misunderstood him the first time.
9.Leave not the area of the stage during the play to go and talk
with the actors, for as surely as you do, you will be in danger
of missing your cue and being summarily executed or worse.
10.Beware of the actors during scene changes, for they are not
like unto you and are blind in the dark.
11.Beware of actors when flying in walls, for they will stand
and watch and get crushed.
12.Take not thy cues before their time, but wait for the proper
moment to do so.
13.Take pity on the actors, for in their roles they are as children,
and must be led with gentle kindness. Thus, endeavor to speak
softly and not in anger.
14.Listen carefully to the instructions of the Director as to
how he wants things done - then do it the right way. In the days
of thy work, he will see thy wisdom, give himself the credit,
and rejoice.
15.And above all, get carried away not with the glow-tape, or
thy stage will be like unto an airport.