This is an archive of a site from 1998 (originally hosted at http://www.nic.com/~porkchop/)
These pages predate modern HTML/CSS and are most definitely NOT valid anything
some browsers may not cope well but I felt the content was worth preserving :)
If you have any feedback contact me. Please note I am not the original author of any of this content.
Low the story begind one night after a gig at UBSA(A temple of
disco)
The techies had performed remarkably during the performance of
dancing by the lowly actors and now the disco had begun.The techies
stood in a huddle and the techie director said "ERRRRRR!!!!"with
a wave of the hands, and from this one gesture they knew it was
time for a break before the night of a thousand de-rigs.
But they stopped at the portal of the mighty UBSA temple the techie
director speaketh
"What about the truly wonderous lighting desk,might not somebody
half-inch it."
And Chris and Dave replied as one"who would be mad enough to steal
a lighting desk."
With these immortal words they parted into the cold night air
having agreed to meet back at eleven.
As the witching hour aproached the techie director and his assistant
felt the desk call and found themselves before the ancient doors
of UBSA,but the insignificant audience were still partying and
little could be done. having looked around for a job we were held
in holy wonderement from the green twinkle of the lighting desk.
Strangly drawn they took its carry case and packed it into its
holy foam.the sound desk also called although its voice was old
and worn but it was taken into our arms and we took them both
home.
On returning to the temple of UBSA we sat in a corner waiting
for the music to abate.
Then movent caught our eye chris and dave had returned,they were
performing strange gestures , then we hear again the "errr!!"and
we knew they were unaware of the safety of the desk.
at this knowledge they panicked with flailing arms and whimpers
of pain they searched,but the desk was nowhere,they asked two
passersby where the desk was and they mockingly said,"Two blokes
from the night club came and knicked it."
So chris did panick some more and went to consult the DJ but the
oracle could not answer.
Just as they were about to give up they saw the sniggering forms
of the directors in the corner and then they went ballistic and
threatened to kill them by depriving them of the holy gaffer tape.
And the moral of this story,always find the techie director for
he shall have the equipment.